I <3 Carla Bruni

This is no French news, but I just had to tell all of you loyal readers out there! Plus, any French culture freak must know about Carla Bruni. Tomorrow at 9/8C on Dateline NBC, Barbara Walters is doing a piece on Carla, the French First Lady extraordinaire.

Can’t wait! I’m hoping it’s good… I’ve actually never heard her speak English before so I’m hoping that worked out for her.

If you are an Olympic fanatic, you might remember her taking part in the opening ceremonies of the 2006 Winter Olympics. She was born in Torino, and participated in the honoring of the Italian flag. I still remember!

You see, I’ve always had a thing for Mme Bruni, even before she was Mme Sarkozy..

Did I mention that not only does she sing but she was a super model as well? She’s also fluent in (at least) three languages, French, Italian, and English. And on top of that, she seems like a super lady!

The video here is her music video for “Quelqu’un m’a dit”, back from 2003 or so. (A translation of the lyrics can be found at the very end of this post.)

La Pub de la semaine: Le Cochon con

So every Sunday I’m going to be providing you with a French publicité (commercial ad), or pub for short. Of course, I’ll provide you with a transcript! One in French for you learners out there and one in English for the idiots.

This week’s pub features animated barnyard animals as they discuss the French lottery (a very common scenario, I’m sure).

This ad has earned a cult following, especially with young kids who now run around screaming “DéeeeDéeeee?!”. See the transcripts after the jump.

Random Rant from Josh: About those wars…

Avertissement: This post is more profane than usual. This is rated PG-13 for strong language and brief nudity.

So I’d just like to take a moment right now to rant about Americans. If you’re looking for real news, I suggest you try another post (or perhaps another blog?).

It friggin’ annoys me when everybody always makes fun of France and how they’ve never won a war. (Quick note: I don’t actually use the word friggin’, but I thought I should censor some of my colorful vocab to keep this post decent.)

Here are a few reasons why it friggin’ annoys me:

1. This claim is not true. The French have, in fact, won wars before.
2. Not all French soldiers build barricades. If you were a poor French peasant, what the fuck else would you fight with?!!
3. Okay, so the wall thing in WWII was stupid (when the French built a wall, and the Germans just walked around it) but don’t think you wouldn’t have done the same thing in the same situation!
4. Without the French, America would not be a country.
5. Winning the most wars isn’t anything to brag about. So great, our country has killed a lot of people! We get what we want with force! You know what? The bullies always lose in the end!
6. Y’all are just jealous.

Don’t laugh at the French because they are “cowards”. One day, they’ll beat your ass and we’ll see who’s laughing…

…we’ll see who’s laughing.

Ta putain de gueule!

P.S. How many of you actually on read this for the “brief nudity”? Pervs.

Le Mot du 26 juillet 2008

Aujourd’hui le mot du jour est: violer, le viol

Today, the word of the day is: to rape(v.), rape(n.)

Today’s word is inspired by this news story: Papa don’t preach!

A police officer was questioned today for allegations of rape. He was supposed to be watching a young woman for a small misdemeanor, but instead he forced her to perform la fellation (which could have also been the word of the day).

Police brutality at it’s horniest.

Exemple: La pauvre jeune femme! Elle était violée par le moche policier?!

Hear it spoken in French and Frenglish!

Example: The poor woman! She was raped by the ugly police officer?!

So Bill Clinton was actually an OK guy…

Forget Clinton! François Mitterand, the French president from 1981 to 1995 (that’s two terms in France), had dirty laundry of his own– and he knew how to shut it up!

Link: Big Brother was listening.

When Jean-Edern Hallier released his book, “The Lost Honor of Mitterand” in 1996, he sparked controversy and public outcry.

Hallier is shown here in 1996, bombarded by the press.

Apparently from 1983 to 1986, Hallier was the victim of illegal wiretapping and surveillance. Why? Because the President feared he would reveal his secret, illegitimate daughter to the press.

Just last Thursday, decades after the fact, the Parisian courts ruled that Hallier’s family and his brother would all be compensated by the FRENCH GOVERNMENT for the illegal surveillance.

Le Mot du 25 juillet 2008

Aujourd’hui, le mot du jour est: Maghreb

Today, the word of the day is: Maghreb

Now, this word is actually of Arabic origin and is spelled the exact same way in English as it is in French; however, I’ve included it because it is a rarely used word in America.

Strictly speaking, Maghreb refers to Algeria, Tunisia and Morocco on the northwestern coast of Africa, bordering the Mediterranean Sea. “Maghreb” is a term commonly used in French, since a large amount of immigrants from the area have immensely influenced French culture in recent years.

Exemple: Les parents de Rachida Dati viennent du Maghreb, mais elle est née en France.

Hear it Spoken! Ouais!

Example: Rachida Dati’s parents come from Maghreb, but she was born in France.