La Pub de la semaine: Le Cochon con

So every Sunday I’m going to be providing you with a French publicité (commercial ad), or pub for short. Of course, I’ll provide you with a transcript! One in French for you learners out there and one in English for the idiots.

This week’s pub features animated barnyard animals as they discuss the French lottery (a very common scenario, I’m sure).

This ad has earned a cult following, especially with young kids who now run around screaming “DéeeeDéeeee?!”. See the transcripts after the jump.

These transcripts were transcribed by me by ear and translated by me. I’m sorry if I couldn’t catch everything as accurately as possible— but if you need these transcripts, obviously you aren’t one to judge!

Français: (thank you to cris for helping me with this transcript.)

L’OIE 1: Moi, je t’explique Patrice.

COCHON: …ah oui…

L’OIE 1: C’est un jeu de doigt…

COCHON: Ah ouais…

L’OIE 1: …et un jeu de doigt à gratter. Tu joues avec des dés.

COCHON: ….ben, ben, ouais….

L’OIE 1: Il y a du suspense.

COCHON: Mais… qui c’est Dédé?

L’OIE 2: Pas Dédé… des dés. DES. DÉS.

L’OIE 1: [marmonnement frustré]

L’OIE 2: Comme un jeu de doigt! Tu GRATTES des DÉS.

[silence]

COCHON: Et pourquoi je gratte Dédé, pourquoi?

L’OIE 1: MAIS POUR LE SUSPENSE!!

L’OIE 2: Y’a cent mille francs à gagner, tête de cochon!

COCHON: Ben! Fallait me dire tout de suite! Il est où ce Dédé?! DÉEEEEEEEE DÉEEEEEEE!

L’OIE 1: Ah la la…

L’OIE 2: Pauvre bête…

L’OIE 1: …ah la la la…

LES DEUX OIES: Jeu de l’oie, ça remplume… BIEN!

English:

GOOSE 1: Okay, I’ll explain it to you Patrick.

PIG: …ah okay…

GOOSE 1: It’s a game using your finger…

PIG: Oh yeah…

GOOSE 1: …and you scratch with your finger. You play with the dice.

PIG: ….well, well, okay….

GOOSE 1: There’s suspense.

PIG: But… who’s Thud-ice??

GOOSE 2: Not Thud-ice… the dice. THE. DICE.

GOOSE 1: [muttering, frustrated]

GOOSE 2: Like a game using your finger! You SCRATCH the DICE.

[silence]

PIG: And why would I want to scratch Thud-ice?

GOOSE 1: FOR THE SUSPENSE!!!

GOOSE 2: There are a hundred thousand francs at stake, you meathead!

PIG: Well! Why didn’t you say that before?! But where is Thud-ice? THUUUUUUDD-IIIIIIICCCCE!!

GOOSE 1: Oh jeez…

GOOSE 2: Poor beast…

GOOSE 1: …oh my dear…

THE TWO GEESE: Jeu de l’oie, it pays you… WELL!

The joke here is that the pig is so stupid that he mistakes “des dés” (some dice) for “Dédé”, which is a real French first name (although, I suppose someone could really be called Thud-ice). The pig then goes crazy trying to find Dédé so he can scratch him and maybe get a thousand francs!

Unfortunately, the ad had to be removed because people complained it promoted children to start gambling! I don’t see any problem with that.

Vive la France!